Escalator etiquette a la NYC.
Thursday, Jan. 16, 2003

Sometimes, I just wonder what the fuck people are thinking.

Today, on the way to work, I was riding the long escalator up from the lower subway (4 express) platform at 59th Street.

Now, everybody who rides the subway knows that if you want to just ride the escalator, you stand to the right, and the people who want to walk the escalator do so on the left. Simple, it follows the rules of the road, everybody's happy.

Except, of course, for me. As I was walking up the left side, some dope was standing on the left side, riding up.

Let me be clear: the escalator wasn't full, and he wasn't talking to a buddy next to him. There was open space on his step to his right.

So I trudge up behind him and mutter an I-haven't-had-my-coffee-yet "excuse me". Dopey looks back at me and, I swear, takes half a side step to his right and stops.

There was no way I could slide by him; my son, who's 6 and looks like his own x-ray, couldn't have gotten past this guy. Plus, there's a woman to my right on the step below him (where I am) and a woman on the right on the step above him, so it's not like I could've just gone around him, really, without forcing 2 people to move.

So I pipe up again. "Excuse me." Dopey looks back at me again and says, and I quote, "you're just going to have to wait your turn."

Wait my turn?

Wait my fucking turn?

Dude, it isn't Splash Mountain or anything; get out of my fucking way, huh?

At the top of the escalator, I left him behind with "have a nice day, jagoff." One of these days, I'll be dead on the front page of the New York Post. I just know it.

Posted by mikeski at 3:50 p.m.